Dear John (Mayer):

Dear John (Mayer):

lovekelsie:

I literally give no fucks.
These are my pj’s.
It’s 10:33 pm on a Friday.
That is a Jack and Coke.
Again, I give no fucks.

If I could heart this 2 times, I would.

I literally give no fucks.

These are my pj’s.

It’s 10:33 pm on a Friday.

That is a Jack and Coke.

Again, I give no fucks.

If I could heart this 2 times, I would.

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]

21 plays

Saved Another Post As A Draft

This one was awesome. Pretend you read it and you were moved and I changed your mind about everything you thought you knew about some rather insignificant things.

I have a rule with myself that any idea good enough to write about on a blog is good enough to try in a song somewhere.

Neil Young Live at Massey Hall ‘71 is a really fantastic album.

And to Morning John, you did well. Nothing in this post to worry about. Go to the gym.

-JM

Um, I really need you to get back to being real and just putting your balls out on the table and telling the world to lick them again…. Like, almost medically, I need it. Thanks.

HATERS GONNA HATE.

whatmyheartlookslike:

n-t-t:

O MAY GAWD

oh hell yeah, they gonna, but we gonna shake em.

this-is-haley:

I still do! lmao

I still do! lmao

re: my thighs to be like that :( be strong and you will be beautiful. be healthy and happy and you will be beautiful! we’re all workin’ on it, but you it’s true, when you see it!

re: my thighs to be like that :( be strong and you will be beautiful. be healthy and happy and you will be beautiful! we’re all workin’ on it, but you it’s true, when you see it!

nothanks-imavegetarian:

my thighs to be like that :(

nothanks-imavegetarian:

my thighs to be like that :(

nothanks-imavegetarian:

nothanks-imavegetarian:

Better than the passive-aggressive guilt-trip slathered song by Taylor Swift, the “nailve” Southern sweetheart who ACCIDENTALLY got swept off her feet by the notorious woman-killer, John Mayer, (No offense Taylor, cause you are a genius…. but your intelligence and shrewdness shine bright, which is why John probably wanted you, and I don’t want to want to f^&% John Mayer either…but I do.) this anonymous blog helps to manifest my pretend relationship with John Mayer. For a part of everyday, or more like 4 out of 7 days, more likely, I will pretend to be friends or journalist-celebrety, or lovers or bf-gf with John Mayer (depending on my mood…but probably mostly lover).

Hmmmmmm…Am I a 300 pound fuzzy wuzzy bear? Am I fifty-something power executive who blogs everyday and no employee of hers would ever susupect? Am I an elementary school teacher in New Hampshire? Am I a nun? A sexy nun? A chin-hair having nun? Am I ballsy/leggy/busty sexy blonde soldier in Iraq? Perhaps I am an anti-gay politician who longs to be close to John. I could be any of these people. I could even be Taylor Swift or even John Mayer or an old girlfriend of John’s from high school, who he’s not really over, but who also inspired him to become a rock star so that someday he would have so many girls he would forget about her, but it didn’t work and he still wants her and stalks her on fb all the time and looks at her and her husband and her kids and wonders if that could’ve been him instead of the grammy award winning singer who’s unfairly known as a douche (a word that is douchy to use)…. hmmmmm…..

Ask me anything

My blog All of Tumblr

Follow on Tumblr

Following

© 2011–2012 Powered by Tumblr